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You’ve reached the tough decision to separate from your spouse. Now, you have an even more challenging task at hand— telling your kids. You know in your heart that this is the best choice for your happiness and family, but that doesn’t make the conversation any easier.
The way you tell your kids makes a difference in the way they cope with the divorce.
4 Tips on Breaking the Divorce News
1. Have a Plan
Go into this conversation with a plan in place. Timing is everything, so try to tell them at a good time. Don’t do it around a major holiday or their birthday. You should also avoid doing it when they are already sad or distracted by something else. Once you figure out when you’re going to have the talk, think about what you’re going to say. It doesn’t hurt to have a speech planned so that you’re not scrambling to find words when the time comes.
2. Have the Conversation Together
You and your spouse need to present a united front for your kids. They need to know that even though your relationship is changing, you will both continue to be there for them as their loving parents. Try to leave out the bad blood and focus on the children.
3. Give an Explanation
With a divorce, it can feel like their life is being flipped upside down. They’ll have questions about where they will live, if they’ll get to see both of you, and countless more. Remember, kids need security. Try to minimize the feeling of uncertainty by providing them with answers. You don’t need to reveal why you’re separating, but you should reassure them that everything will be okay.
4. Be Prepared for Their Reactions
Each child will react differently to the news about the divorce. Some may feel guilty and others will be in denial. Some may be very emotional and others will ignore it. As a parent, you should be prepared for any of these reactions when telling your kids about your divorce. What should you do? Be there for your kids. This is the time when they need you the most.
It will take time for your children to adjust to this news and see the same happy future that you envision for them. In the meantime, consider mediation to make the divorce process easier for everyone involved. This alternative dispute resolution skips the courtroom and gives you the opportunity to resolve matters in a peaceful manner, saving your kids from the hardships associated with a traditional divorce.
If you have more questions about mediation and how it can help your kids through the divorce process, reach out to Peak Mediation. Call us at (719) 259-5944 to schedule a consultation today.